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Just as i was never picked to play an “important” baseball position in gym class when it came time to choose teams, i was also never picked for Jesus in any church passion play during Easter.
That’s because i am fat, and Jesus was not. And i’m not talking about the historical Jesus here - […]

Cabbage Patch Tranny Pt 2

There i was - racing home after a hard-fought battle for the hottest Christmas toy this year, a “video-game” console called the Nintendo Wii, when i began to feel unwanted pangs of Christmas cheer. i’m talking about some full-on nauseating prime time stop motion-animated singing mouse-style puppetrous heart-warming Hallmark crap. Be ye warned.

i […]

Advertising Wins

i ordered a bucket of Kn’Fn’C for diner last night, and i’m pretty angry about it.

Kentucky Fried Chicken is a North American fast food chain that serves up mostly fried chicken and mayonnaise with bits of salad in it. It is a staple of church picnics and desperation.
As the story goes, i […]